ARE YOU TRULY A "YES" CHRISTIAN

I thought I was truly saved once I started faithfully going to church, speaking in tongues. I thought I was really doing good when I could not tell you who the latest secular artists were and what songs they sang. I thought I was really saved when I stopped cursing and stayed out of the nightclubs. I thought I was really saved when I started giving to others and paying my tithes. I thought I was saved when I dressed differently than I did before; I'd cover up my body parts and wear long dresses and loose pants. I thought I was saved when I stopped watching movies or television shows that were ungodly.

Well in all that, I found out that my walk with God was not in vain but was progressing and it did not stop there. God was teaching me how to live for him, it was my choice not to do all those things or to change anything in my life. I thought I had to give up everything; well some things were necessary given my style of living before I accepted God into my life.

Today, while praying, God reminded me of the "YES" that he planted in my spirit about 6 years ago or so. That "yes" was one that set a covenant with God saying no matter what happens in my life or to anyone in my life, I will serve him alone and not turn to anything other than him. I will not serve anger, bitterness, frustration, ignorance, manipulation, unforgiveness, retaliation, wantonness, unfruitful desires, drunkenness, drugs, isolation, pettiness, pity, and the likes.

In that reminder, he showed me "MARRIAGE." When I accepted him as my personal savior, I accepted his hand in marriage. He skipped the engagement and married me out of trust. He loved me knowing I would betray him, but he hung in there and showed me for better or for worse. He died on the cross for me to show me in sickness and in health he would serve me in every area of my need. Nevertheless, I did not fully take his hand in marriage until I lived up to the covenant I made with him. The "YES!" I half stepped. I followed my own way of doing things and was chastised, but I found ways to climb out of that place and God was right there each time I went back there.

Today, Monday, 11/12/2018, God showed me the full-blown "YES" covenant. It was not only accepting the things that I could not change and continue to follow him throughout the pain and suffering; but, to love despite someone hating me. To speak in love to someone that was speaking evil to me. To look at them as a good person even though they were acting badly. To continue to see the beauty in them after they consistently showed ugliness. To encourage them even when they touch my hand and transferred their evilness to me with lies and deceit. To pray for them when they refuse to see the God in me and love Him. To pray for them when they see him, deny him and continue in their evil ways toward me. To not fight back when they fight against me; because it is not me they are fighting but the spirit of God that is within me.

God showed me his war suit; the helmet of salvation to protect my mind, the breastplate of righteousness to protect my heart., my loins girded with truth, that I might not be deceived by it; my feet shod with preparation, that I may follow his precepts step by step. He would protect my going out and coming in. He then showed me love on the cross! One that said "YES" despite my evilness, disobedience and so forth. Now that I know what my "YES" is to God to the fullest, I can truly accept it and make full efforts to live by it. I will be challenged on a daily basis throughout my day sometimes or oftentimes, however, I must carry out my  "YES!"

The "YES" covenant is not only to God but to my husband as well. As I had spoken my vows to him, so shall I follow the "YES" concept to uphold my marriage to him. If God is truly living inside me, I must keep my eyes on the hills where my help comes from, or I will see my husband through natural eyes as a trader, one who I would hate, want to murder, or sass, or hit, or hurt; whatever the enemy set in my heart and mind to do because of what he may have said or done to me that hurt me. Oh, come on! You all have either said it or thought it! BE REALISTIC! If you can't then you could not possibly be a "YES" Christian. You definitely are not ready to live REAL before him or make valid changes in your life that he may live and breathe in you.

I want him to be seen in me! Though I am not 100% there yet, I am on my way. How? Because I see through spiritual eyes a deeper understanding of the words that are in the Bible. I see a deeper understanding of the things in this world. God gave me that as I desired to grow in him and keep the "YES" covenant. You can have that too! The word of God meets you where you are. Its meaning is remedial at first and then it gets complicated because you have grown and its meaning gets deeper and more unbelievable to others and sometimes you. YOU doubt the "YES" because it is uncomfortable and unnatural to the flesh. However, you have got to believe that once you accept the "YES" then and only then will you become married in the spirit and have died to the flesh. Your life will never be the same in your natural marriage and in the rest of your life.

FROM MY NEW BOOK....."YOU CAN BE YOU"  (writing in Progress)

HEAR & DO! DON'T SELFISHLY SERVE GOD!

Psalm 106

Those of us who profess that we hear the word of God spoken directly to us, knows that if he have given instructions they must be carried out to the letter. It is a bad idea to either do a portion of what he's asked or not to do it at all.

Oftentimes we ask God for something and without question he allows us to have it. It may not come as fast as we like, but we get it. When God asks us to do something we question it and ponder with whether it came from God. Therefore, we choose not to follow the instructions or do just a portion because it's too hard to carry out.

We do this because God's instructions appear to be hard, as the flesh is against it. If it doesn't look good, sound good, or feel good, it's not good. Some things God ask us to do is uncomfortable, but in the end it will pay off. Yet, we refuse to trust God all because it's too hard or to much. We'd rather obey the desires of the flesh rather than God.

So, God allows us to do what we want, which later causes us to face tough situations that are greater than what we would have faced with God's instructions. We have the audacity to then cry out to God for help; to be rescued after which we decided to do or own thing.

Understand, if God can hear your cry, be compassionate and rescue you, then he can also let you suffer a bit longer so you can appreciate the rescue. It is selfish of us to ask God for something and expect it and when he ask us to do something, we'd rather not do it for our own personal reasons.

At times we must go through it to get to it. At least God is with us along the way. If we run from it, we'll never get through it and will suffer longer, as we tie God's hands. However, eventually the compassion of God will rescue you, yet you still will not receive the blessing.

REST, FULLY ARMORED IN GOD!

While resting, after a beautiful wedding, I could feel evil spirits in my room. I was sleeping but felt my spirit man awaken me, and I could hear my husband snoring. I felt his arms around me, so I began to pray over the both of us. I prayed with confidence, absent from fear or anxiety. The room was pitch black, I knew that because before we fell asleep no peeking light was able to enter the room. Eyes still closed, I saw shapes; many of them, floating around trying to attack. I saw one big one with no eyes, and small ones around it. I pleaded the blood of Jesus over our lives and commanded them to return from where they had come. I told them that no longer will they torment me or my husband and they will not be entertained.

I must have relaxed in the spirit of God because I fell back into a deep sleep as if the evil spirits were not there. Suddenly, I could hear myself trying to tell the dream but could not remember much of it. I thought it was real, but it wasn't. When I finally woke up, I began trying to tell my husband what happened and could not remember much, only what was displayed in this excerpt.

I told this story because I have never studied the word of God about evil spirits, however, I have experienced them for many years. This moment should have been a traumatic moment because I had never seen so much as a shadow of the enemy. I have heard them, and felt them, but never seen shadows of them. God told me over 10 years ago that I will come face to face with the enemy. I'm assuming this is the beginning. So, God has encouraged me to Remember not to 1 Timothy 4:1, abandon his spirit for evil spirits, and to remember 1 John 4:4, Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. Also, know that if I do Ephesians 6:1-18, be a good servant unto all that He (God) has put in authority over me, trusting Him in every aspect that He will guide them in caring for me; as well as keeping on His warring gear to protect myself and family from evilness, everything will be alright!

Even though the demons are constantly seeking whom they will devour, it is in our best interest to follow the instructions of God. Our flesh is evil and desires to do things contrary to the word of God. Its spiritual warfare and it has not biased to who we are or where we come from. It will take control of our bodies if we are not careful.

GOD'S PLANS OUTWEIGHS YOURS

Every night I'd make plans to change my perspective on life. There were so many negative things that I could not consider thinking positive. Pessimism was forcing anger to live within. It was growing so much so that I couldn't be around anyone. Every time I did, someone got hurt verbally or physically. Although it was a bit soothing to my ego, I wanted to change it. After the adrenaline of anger came down, I felt bad for the people I hurt. Life had to be better than THAT.

One day I proposed to walk away from the anger that was awakened, but I was gut punched in the worse way. Surprisingly, it was someone I knew; someone I thought would never rub me the wrong way. I sat teary-eyed desiring to lash out with a high volume of heat. I clenched my fist and grit my teeth while the tears flowed speedily down my cheeks. My eyes burned as if someone THREW something in them. Starring at the person with a frown and much anger, I rose to my feet with the intent to punch their lights out. Moving quickly toward them, they backed up with their hands up apologizing. I lunged at the person, grabbed both their arms and hugged them. Astonished at what was happening, the person embraced me back and WE both wailed holding each other.

That day, I felt something shift inside of me. A weight that held me down for years was finally lifted. I had read many scriptures about anger and how to refrain from it, but my mind, body, and heart did not line up with what they were saying. To hit or speak negativity into someone else was easier and felt better than saying something positive or nice. They had gotten what they deserved and they would never think about doing anything else to me. Little did I know, some people were feeling worst than I, which was the reason for their lashing out at me. Some people desired to be hit or yelled at, as they were immune to it and so was I.

God's plan was never for me to harm anyone with my anger, but to give those emotions to him. He desired that I allow him to comfort me so as to comfort another. My plan was to make people hurt as I was hurting; I didn't care about how they were feeling or what they were going through. I felt they should have thought about that before they brought the drama. God reminded me of how we add to the problems rather than solve them. We give in to the enemies devices because he forces us to believe it is right. He raises up in another so that the enemy within us can be raised and we hurt each other, sometimes to the death.

If we could just allow the word of God to infiltrate our mind body and soul, then we will see His hand work in our lives as well as others. He will use our bodies to sow good seed into another so that we all may live. TAKE  HEED TO THE PLAN OF GOD! DON'T IGNORE WHAT HE HAS POURED INSIDE! DENOUNCE YOUR PLAN AND ACCEPT GOD'S PLAN TODAY AND LIVE!

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!

When I got saved everything was about me. I asked God to help me with everything. He did just that but in his timing. I had to go through some things to appreciate the breakthrough. It wasn't easy but I had overcome storm after storm with God's assistance. With God showing Himself in my life as much as He did, I had become selfish. Although it was innocent, it was not God's reason for saving my soul. It was displeasing to God, and He had to show me why He called me to His attention.

I have always loved witnessing to others, feeling God's anointing and seeing his hand in both mine and others life. However, for the life of me, I could not stand when people challenged the word. It made every uncomfortable spirit rise up in me, and brought about a war within. Fighting the feeling, I would walk away disappointed that the word of the Lord did not get across as planned. As I took the issue to God, He'd just confirm that the word He spoke in me was correct. Therefore, I'd fix my mind to believe those who did not hear was against me; or they just did not want to hear what thus saith the Lord.

God allowed me to consistently go through that for as long as I did not recognize my error. I did not get it until one day I was witnessing to someone who desired to hear the word of God but was confused at the scriptures meaning, so it was a constant back and forth. Unfortunately, I got tired of trying to explain and respectfully told the person I had nothing further to say about it, and would like to allow God to reveal the understanding to them. After I got off the phone, I realized I was not mad, but a bit irritated. It was because I had no further information to "WIN" the conversation and win the soul.

Returning to God in prayer regarding the situation, He brought to my attention that I was bought with a price and I am not my own. God gave himself as ransom to save my soul, I took no part in that process. Therefore, when I accepted Christ as my personal savior, he had become the guide in everything I do. Anything done in His name was about Him, not about "ME." In realizing that, it saddened me that I was trying to get the glory for what only God could do. It changed my attitude toward witnessing, and God was able to open my understanding to a deeper knowledge of his word. When I was challenged or when someone did not get his word, it was easy for me to say, I will take some time to study a bit more and come back with more information, and/or pray for those souls that I encountered that did not get it.

I was finally relieved from the enemies embrace of selfish thinking and glorifying self. From that day forward, I programmed my heart and mind to always give God the glory for all things. God is glorified in witnessing not I. Anything that I do, in Jesus name, glorifies God and Him alone!

WAIT+TRUST+CONFIDENCE+REMAIN-FEAR=GOD'S FRUITFUL LIFE

I had a habit of allowing everything to bring fear in my life except for standing up to a fight. I didn't understand, as the humans I stood up to were bigger and stronger than I. Well that was God showing my warrior spirit, however, it was to be used for his glory. But that's another story.

Fear prevented me from getting ahead in life. I lost jobs or did not get them for fear of exerting the strength, wisdom, and knowledge God gave me.
Fear prevented me of moving forward in ministries God opened doors for me to operate in.
Fear stifled my gifts because I refused to use them, not wanting to face the storms they may bring in my life.
Fear hid me from the light of God in dark places that blinded my view of God's plans for me.
Fear clouded my judgement and my decisions were flawed.
Fear told me I was inadequate and it was best to remain status quo; it was the safest place.

It took several years to learn how to surpass fear and inadequacy. There were lots of praying and wailing before God. I really had to trust and believe that God had my back. That he would protect and deliver me from myself, others negativity, and fear.

When I began to stand on the fact that God was my light and salvation, there was no need to be afraid of anything or anyone. I remained confident in him and started to see and experience his goodness. The fruit in my life became abundant, so much that I was able to share with others in word and with gifts.

I waited on God for as long as I needed too. Trusting in him, believing on him, and holding him to his word. Prove him, and watch his hand in your life. In his timing all things will come to fruition. Wait, I say, wait on the Lord!

IT'S TOO MUCH!

I was tired of trying and tired of being disappointed. I put everything into making things right. I payed attention to everything to make sure the right decisions were made, I had the right attitude, said the right things, and my body language was positive. What more could I do? Why was it taking so long for things to turn around in my favor?

I didn't understand what was happening. For a short while things went well and then the struggles and tug of war would return. I asked God what was happening? I had done all I could do. God said: "and let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9 ESV.

But I had enough of pressing forward and doing good and it appeared nothing was turning around for me. God said: "DO you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increased the power of the weak." Isaiah 40:28-29.

In other words, I had to stop operating in my own strength. I excluded God indirectly trying too hard to make things right in my own timing. I had to relax and lean on God. I prayed every time anxiety and impatience attacked. I waited for the Lord's instructions and when I didn't hear them, I waited longer. I had to regulate my mind to think on the things of God. Phillipians 4:8. With patience I waited. Psalms 27:14. Only by the strength of God's word did I wait with patience. Trusting him caused me to do leaps and bounds in several areas of my life, in his timing. I learned to walk in God's 💪 strength by faith and his power; not my own.

MY CHASTISEMENT versus GOD'S

It's easy to be provoked these days; and easy to justify the actions afterward. However, it is better to remain humble, than to act a plum fool just because the flesh desires it.

Coming from an angry childhood to an angry adulthood, I was always provoked and always retaliated with a vengeance. I forgave after I succumbed to the desire of my flesh. For then I felt as if I had power over whom I considered to be my enemy.

Not understanding that God was not pleased with that type of attitude or behaviour, I continued until the Lord allowed me to suffer greatly for entertaining anger. Anger caused me to lose friends, family and meaningful relationships. I couldn't see past my anger. It was cold, dark and lonely inside and outside of my body. I missed out on the blessings God had stored for me. He allowed me to see what was waiting for me and how I could have prospered.

Becoming even more angry and bitter, I shouted at God, while tears flowed heavily down my face. Why me Lord? They provoked me! I tried to run, but they came after me! The Lord said, "It is not that you get angry, but your actions." "I have spared your life and forgave you. I have been provoked to anger by you and I showed mercy toward you. How then are you better than they?"

I had never heard it that way before. With all the anger, I had shown no mercy. I forgave, but only after I returned the pain. Never did the pleasure of harming them bring any healing to my soul; but it fed my ego and built up my pride.

After eating the words of the Lord, I tried a new thing. It hurt not to unleash anger upon my enemies head, but as I consistently tamed my flesh, through the word of the Lord, my soul waxed happy. Henceforth, the provoking stopped and the enemy of my flesh was defeated. I then received many blessings from the Lord, my life was preserved and I obtained healthy friendships and relationships. I could smile in the midst of those angry moments. No longer did it defeat me or others.

My chastisement brought destruction, while God's chastisement brought healing. It's better to die to fleshy desires than to live by them.

THE RUN AND THE GIFT

When I first came to God I was gunho about being with him. But my mind and heart reverted to the natural immediately when I realized I had to give up so much of what I loved to do.

I'd run but God always found a way to lead me back to him. At first he'd bring me back by allowing the storms of life to rage, other times he'd show me his favor. I'd know that if it weren't for God certain things would not have happened.

Like Jonah, my running not only caused me to experience the storm, but others. It hurt to see others in pain and knowing it was my fault, I wanted to relieve them of their suffering by harming self. When God refused to let me harm myself, I realized he loved me and everyone around me. I was selfish and fearful of a change that was good for my health and nourishment to my bones.

When I stopped running, I received the most precious gift. The power of the Holy Ghost. Then I began to grow in him year after year. My life had not been the same since.

THE ANGRY WIFE & THE INSTRUCTIONS OF GOD

God said: Follow my instructions and you will surely have a good marriage.

I thought I would be good at following God's instructions until I began to feel like I was being mistreated. I totally forgot his instructions and began to handle things my own way. His instructions were simply put, but hard to carry out. I lifted my voice at my husband and yelled out every insulting word that I could think of. He yelled back: "GO AHEAD! GET IT ALL OUT, ANGRY WOMAN!" Getting even angrier, I began to shed tears and rage told me to hit him with something. Just as I was about to do it, my arm got stuck. It was as if God grabbed my arm and warned that if I do it, I would regret it. I put the object down and sat down in the chair feeling overwhelmed. My head was pounding, and my chest felt like bricks were laid on it. My husband sat beside me and tried talking to me, but I could not hear him because rage was still infiltrating my body. I felt right in what I had done because I was provoked to it. He deserved it, as he could never have a sensible conversation without finding a way to debate it. I hated debates as I was never trying to prove right, just trying to give the wisdom that God provided me. However, he never saw it that way, so I'd blow up. But God chastised me with a word of WISDOM:

PROVERBS 21:9, IT'S BETTER TO LIVE IN A CORNER OF A ROOF THAN IN A HOUSE SHARED WITH A CONTENTIOUS WOMAN.

My heart was broken at the statement from God. How could he be on my husband side? He provoked me to anger. I thought, but I did not have to engage in the manner I had engaged. Totally disrespectful and out of character. My husband would have been chastised had I followed the instructions of God, which were:

1 PETER 3:1 -2, LIKEWISE, WIVES BE SUBJECT TO YOUR OWN HUSBANDS, SO THAT EVEN IF THEY DON'T OBEY THE WORD, THEY MAY BE WON WITHOUT A WORD BY THE CONDUCT OF THEIR WIVES, WHEN THEY SEE  Y OUR RESPECTFUL AND PURE CONDUCT.

My behavior ripped my husband apart and his behavior ripped me apart, but God desired that I take it and not act out of his character. How relentless was that? I thought. But, when I kneeled down to pray to talk to God, he showed me visions of my error that hurt me as bad as I hurt myself and my husband. If I had just kept my mouth shut, and gave that anger to God, he would have calmed me and chastised my husband. My husband then would have been responsible for apologizing and affirming me. It would have been totally wrong to get the joy out of his chastisement and to make him feel even worse for apologizing and affirming. It would have been in my best interest to receive him and continue living before him as a woman of God. I learned my lesson that day and never returned to being that angry woman. ONLY THE INSTRUCTIONS OF GOD KEPT MY MARRIAGE TODAY!

DO YOURSELVES A FAVOR WIVES, STOP TRYING TO BE THE LEADER WHEN GOD HAS MADE YOU THE FOLLOWER OF YOUR HUSBAND. IT MAY BE PAINFUL TO TAKE MESS FROM YOUR HUSBAND, BUT TRUST GOD TO GIVE INSTRUCTIONS AND FOLLOW THEM. IT WORKS!

THE "I AM" & THE RAGE

There is a rage upon the earth that has no eyes. It beats upon the flesh until it pierces it. When it gets inside, It smells like the smoke of old burnt coals. It's no doubt that its next move is to infiltrate the persons of another as it germinates throughout the body.

Watch out oh Spirit man, Watch out oh holy one, rage has plagued the land and has broken free of your peace. The love that it has encountered is more satisfying than a hope that one day its heart will be set free of pain. It is satisfied that its devious intentions are no longer a thought, but a reality.

But wait! what is this rain that is at the seat of the soul, it's putting out the heat from the coals of rage. Why has thy soul stood in the way? Why can't the rage sit at the bottom and take control? "It is I, saith the Lord!" The Holy rain that washes and cleanses deep-rooted pain. The rain that protects the soul and denies the flesh of any domination.

Watch out oh rage, Watch out oh evil one! Love and peace have I empowered among the earth, that even though you slither subtly, and even though you can pierce the flesh, you are powerless where I reside. I AM THAT I AM!

Stop Fighting & Let God Fight

A fight without God, is a battle you will be defeated in, every time. But when you put on the armor of God, he is in battle either for you or with you. He will guide you and protect you at the same time; that is, in a battle that he has allowed. Others prayer for strength will be upon you, and God will defeat all of your enemies in ways you could not imagine. He may even send them your way to preach the gospel of truth to them and win their souls. That is the secret to fighting and winning!

TRUE STORY

I've always been a fighter. Never been afraid of how big or how tough a person was. I believed in myself. I knew secrets of how to take a person down. I never took my eyes off of them, even after I had been punched. I knew if I did, I would be defeated. However, after a while I didnt feel so confident. Not because I lost faith in myself, but because it didnt feel right to hurt people like that. After I'd calm myself from rage and hatred, and had won the battle, I felt bad as I watched how bad my brother or sister was feeling from defeat. Even though they were the one who provoked it, and afterward, some still mouthed off in anger toward me, I didnt desire to fight anymore.

Later in life I found God, and he met me where I was. It was then that I understood why I felt bad for fighting my brothers and sisters. I learned to fight a different way. It took a long time for me to accept God's way, but it was worth it. When I stopped fighting with my hands, I battled with my mouth and attitude; along with unforgiveness. God rebuked that spirit by showing me either way I would no longer win. Through praying and following the commandments of God, I lost every self-battle. Even if I was in the right and should have won.

RETALIATION

RETALIATION

John 18:1-10

Like Peter, you want to protect yourselves and those whom you love 💘. However, the best protection is leaving things that hurt you in the hands of God. The bible says in Matthew 10:28 not to be afraid of those who could kill the body as they can not kill the soul. Therefore, to use the energy to retaliate against someone to appease your appetite is useless.

God will allow your flesh and your soul no rest as you are not authorized to take a life. That means do not force condemnation, depression, fear, etc. to your enemies or you will self-inflict yourselves.

Its hard not to be vengeful in such a state of pain because your heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who could know it. Jeremiah 17:9. It's full of James 4:1-4, wars and fightings. The flesh doesn't STOP until it gets what it wants; by any means necessary. God is aware and he is against it.

If you want help in turning away from the pain and thoughts of retaliation, let God give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. LET IT GO AND GIVE IT TO GOD FOR HE SAYS ALSO:

Deuteronomy 32:35, It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them. & Romans 12:17-19, Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "it is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.