When I first came to God I was gunho about being with him. But my mind and heart reverted to the natural immediately when I realized I had to give up so much of what I loved to do.
I'd run but God always found a way to lead me back to him. At first he'd bring me back by allowing the storms of life to rage, other times he'd show me his favor. I'd know that if it weren't for God certain things would not have happened.
Like Jonah, my running not only caused me to experience the storm, but others. It hurt to see others in pain and knowing it was my fault, I wanted to relieve them of their suffering by harming self. When God refused to let me harm myself, I realized he loved me and everyone around me. I was selfish and fearful of a change that was good for my health and nourishment to my bones.
When I stopped running, I received the most precious gift. The power of the Holy Ghost. Then I began to grow in him year after year. My life had not been the same since.
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