I began to see the flames from hell by February burning up a portion of the house. My prayers and praise quenched the fire of hell but the heat did not subside. The fire of my worship began to over power that of Satan's and my husband recanted against the biblical adventures for our marriage. The drinking escalated and the blatant disrespect was intentional.
I played along with his game but was protected through prayers and was praying against the demon controlling him. I loved my husband! I didn't want to see him overtaken. It was time out for running and becoming angry and bitter at him. There was a soul at stake and if I could do anything, it would be fight in prayer for it to be won by God.
I didn't realize that he had been using God to get me under his plan to demoralize me. So, my prayers for him only turned up the heat of his disdain toward me. I could see the uncomfortableness in his everyday stance because he was unable to get a rise out of me.
He pondered day after day with what he could do to get rid of me. The plan had to cause me to be in the wrong to justify his actions. I understood the fight was one bigger than I could handle alone so I immersed myself in God's humility. I continued to fight for my marriage. I pointed in the face of the enemy, declared and decreed that he will not kill my marriage; he needed me. We needed each other.
Valentines day God allowed me to hear the truth of what I was dealing with, through a testimony my husband told to me while in church waiting for visitors to come in and pray. How he responded to what was said from a woman he cared about was how he responded to me when he cared about me. He took her to be sarcastic and forthright. He was disheartened that she challenged him. It angered him to the point he wanted to say bad things to her.
God gave me the words to assist him with understanding her innocence and his emotional responses. He fought against it but I remained calm. He was all over the place in his argument. I let him have it but he knew he was not right. Out of the blue, he began attacking me after asking him if I could ride with him to the woman's house who lived in New York.
I kept my composure. I showed just a little emotion in my face before walking away and diving into prayer. While in prayer, I felt the presence of the enemy who was waiting to attack me. But God, in his protection, rerouted me back to where my husband was, after ending my prayer.
He had packed up and was ready to leave the church by the time I made it to him. At the end of the evening he attacked me verbally again hoping I would spaz out. I sat on his lap and affirmed him with affection until he abruptly told me to get off of him. I got in the bed and immediately went to sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night to him in the chair drunk sleep. I took a picture of him because the smirk on his face was malicious, I couldn't pass that up.
My birthday! February 15th to be exact. I was left at home because I didn't want to open the church with him. I wanted to pamper myself and feel worthy. Unfortunately, the mice in the walls and the mice crawling on the floor of our bedroom glued me to the bed. I didn't want to stay there so I got up, quickly got dressed and met my husband at the church two hours later by bus.
I immediately went into the basement of the church and confronted the devil who tried to unclothe me and have his way with me. I rebuked him and told him he will not take my marriage. Well, I guess God said it was time to leave my marriage because when I finished praying, my husband wasted no time with his attack.
He questioned whether or not I would allow him to take advantage of me. I declined calmly and respectfully. With a straight face I gave my reasonings. His eyebrows raised as he did not expect that answer or behavior. He had to shoot from the hip now and antagonize me. He told me my advice to his family repulse him and I should never do it again. I was instructed to inform his family to direct their questions and concerns to him.
I agreed and we went on with our day as if we were a happy couple. At the median of the evening, I was relaxed from drinking Moscato while he dranked vodka. We watched an old classic movie that he kept pausing to try and frustrate me with his questions. It didn't work and he got anxious. He wanted to feel comfortable with the decision he made to spend a week in New York with is younger children's mother. I provided it to him by letting him know to do what makes him happy as I could not stop him.
Not liking that answer he resumed the movie. His phone rang, he put it on speaker so I could hear the disrespect. She addresses him as baby and he tells her to make sure she got her boyfriend in control so they will encounter no issues while he's their. Me, hurting already, showed no emotions still, but asked him why would she say that and if he really was going to stay. He responded sarcastically and boldly, and then left the room.
Hell had truly taken over the house, but God kept me calm and humble. Instead of praying, I got up and dranked the last bit of his vodka which was always mixed with the usual; orange juice or lemonade. Sometimes he'd add a energy drink but nothing more. Unfortunately something more had to be in that drink as it darkened my vision and immediately caused me to stagger and feel sick.
Although I'm not much of a drinker, when I did drink occasionally with him or family it was never to the point of getting drunk and staggering. Fear took over me. My husband followed me to the bathroom as I thought I would hurl. It felt like he was comforting me as I laid my head in his chest. Before I knew it, I was back in the room hurling in a plastic bag. Then I was totally naked under a robe. What was happening to me. I was not in control of myself. The devil in my husband was finally taking advantage of me. I went to the bed to get into it and lie down, but for the life of me, I dont know why I was throwing my pillows and blanket at him. Before I knew it, I was in an attack. My husband was bear hugging me. Unable to move, I laid at his mercy in his arms. He yelled and spit in my face that he was calling the police on me. I felt his hand go between my legs before I passed out and remembered thinking he was going to body slam me as he said he would have done in the first marriage if he knew I wouldn't call my family.
I woke up unable to breathe. Trying to get his attention, he put more pressure on me and said shut the "f" up. Everything was still dark. I lifted my hand and it seemed as if it went directly into his mouth. He bit my fingers, spread them apart as if he was going to break them and pulled my wedding ring off. I screamed from the pain, but not loud enough, as I couldn't breath. He added more pressure to my neck and again told me to shut the "f" up. He began screaming hysterically for his daughter to call 911 as if he was in distress. I heard him call 4 times before I passed out again. As I slowly came too again, everything was still dark, but I could hear the police radios and my husband declaring his self defence.
I was taken to the hospital where I had no idea why until I heard the cops proclaim to the doctors I couldnt walk. I don't remember much as I kept going in and out. By the time we left the hospital I was completely coherent. I was escorted on crutches and with a temporary cast to jail, where they left me until I saw a judge who slapped me with a Domestic Violence Misdemeanor and a no contact order. He had taken my good name and marred it. He beat me and he acted as the victim. He won his way of taking advantage of me without my consent. The Devil had claimed his victory for now. But I serve a God that will avenge my enemies.
At least I was free from the house of hell, able to start my life over and continue serving God. I lost my husband, but won my life back. MY FREEDOM! Now to heal!
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